happy ending
im sitting here typing away with tears in my eyes. i always wanted a happy ending. i know i’ve been through a lot of dumb shit but i know it’s not suppose to be this hard. i know it’s not suppose to be this complicated. i know im not suppose to be ‘thrown under a bus.’ i need someone who can stand up for me.
you have the best of both worlds? maybe. what do i have… a borrowed one from her. snatches of time away from her.
i deserve a man who can give me his time, his devotion. i deserve a man who can share everything with me and only me.
i have no more words. i dont have any thoughts. i just want to be numb and never feel anything.
i love you
the three letter words that often lose its meaning. yes, i say “i love you”,”i love you too” and i try to convince you that i mean it maybe i try to convince myself too. why? because even tho i know what we’re doing is absolutely wrong in every angle, even tho im sure you most likely don’t love me, i like pretending. i like to think that hey maybe someone does love me and i love them back despite the circumstances.i like the attention, i like hearing that someone misses me and loves me… even tho i know you’re feeding me with lies.funny world eh? you’re being selfish by keeping two women. and im being selfish by having the satisfaction of attention. so who’s deceiving who? could you actually be speaking truth? and i convincing you that i love you? maybe. could you be lying and im feeding your lies with mine? maybe. guess time will let us know.
karma’s a bitch? yeah,im aware. but karma’s been on my ass the whole time. and it’s time i get even with karma for all the assholes that’s been sent my way.
ive always wanted that shit i see in the movies where the guy takes me on a ferri’s wheel ride holding each others hands and just talking and enjoying the view. gay.
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